Embarrassing I tell you!

[Warning! This story is not suitable for children under 17 years old.]

Have you ever had the experience like 1 hour felt like 2 dreadful hours? And 5 minutes seem like too long to bear? I actually forgot how that feels in class because lately I've been having fun with the lecturers from my faculty. Yeah, there are a lot of boring subjects but usually I can stay awake. Last week, I missed one important class. Mr. Kieran's class. It was the first most important lesson and I couldn't make it. So I was like so scared to enter his class this week. What if he asks me about last week's lesson? I have no idea what they learned coz I dun have the RM98.00 book. Eventually, I came. I can't afford to skip classes coz it's a core subject and always known as killer subjects. That's phonetics and phonology.

honestly, with no books and preparation...it's really hard to stay focused in his class. My mistake, I know. I think I literally dozed off for more than 3 times. When he asked everyone to do the exercise in the book I will be blur again coz I dun have the book. Can you imagine how I felt in his class? I feel like hiding somewhere. Please, please don't look at me. Then the best thing happened. He finally said, "we call this a day" and he continued with "YEAY~!!!" Haha! He knew we were suffering. Then the next sentence was the best. "B4 we go, I would like you to continue what I did on the board. He walked straight to me and gave me a marker pen. At that time I was like, "OMG!"

I don't know a thing that he wrote on the board. Yeah, it's just IPA but I dunno how to describe them. I wasn't in class!! I had this blur and scared face and looked at my friends. They all flipped the book and tried to help me. I was taking too much time so I juz go to the board. I read my friend's lips and wrote it on the board. For the third description, I misread their lips and wrote 'SPREAD' on the board. Mr. Kieran was shocked! "Spread! But that's not even in the list!" It was actually FLAT. I rubbed the board, wrote the right answer and sat down. No one said anything to me. Maybe they knew I was so ashamed at that time. I couldn't stop laughing actually. That was like the stupidest moment I ever had in front of an audience.

That was certainly embarrassing. Here's another great news. We have a test on the subject next week. Yippedi~ I know nothing and I have to answer a test about it. Risiko utk fail sgt tinggi ye tuan2 dan puan2. I gotta ask someone to teach me Phonetics and Phonology.. I asked Zach but he didn't reply my message. Maybe he's too busy. LinO, can u help me?? Uhuhuhu... (T_T)

(T_T) They're different now..

What is 2PM without Jay?
What is Wonder Girls without Sun Mi?

There was one period when I stopped caring about Wonder Girls and JYP. I was so sad about Sun Mi and Jay. Then, when '2 different tears' were commercialized I started to find their updates. I guess I couldn't 'merajuk' that long with them. I luv them so much I couldn't ignore them. Especially when I've missed them so much. Last week I exchanged videos with 21. She gave me a lot of WG's live performance. Seeing them now feels like watching a different group. They're not WG anymore. I tried to heal myself by watching After School but I got more annoyed watching Caramel Orange. *caramel orange is the smaller portion of AS* Then I watched 2PM's new MVs. Again I felt the same. What's 2PM without Jay? Suddenly watching those 2 groups feels meaningless. And it's painful to feel that way.

Now I feel like I've lost WG and 2PM. Yeah, the two groups still exist. But they're different. I don't even know if they are WG and 2 PM now. Sigh~I hate changes.

Air mata kegembiraan

Honestly speaking, sy mmg bukan seorg yg mudah menangis. Xtaula kenapa dari kecik lg mmg susah nk ngs. Masa kat skolah, kwn sy ckp sy tabah. Sbb tu sy x ngs. Sy pun xtau nak iyakan ke nak nafikan. Tp sy tahu sy mmg susah nk menangis, especially depan org. Mungkin sy terlalu ego, sampai sy xnk tunjuk kat org betapa buruknya muka saya bila menangis. Tp yg pasti, bila air mata saya menitis, jgn diragui betapa dalamnya emosi saya masa tu. Dan selalunya hanya org yg bertuah je yg dpt tgk sy ngs. Org yg saya x malu bila dia nmpk sy ngs. Org yg btul2 rapat dgn saya.

Fikir2 balik, mmg iya sy mahal dgn air mata. Kalau kes tgk cite korea atau movie2 ni xbleh masuk list la. Yg tu mmg laju je air mata kuar. Kdg2 tgk iklan petronas pun blh menangis. Sy susah nk ngs when it comes to real life experience. Mcm dulu bila Abah sakit saya selalu tahan air mata dari jatuh. Tapi pd hari pengebumian arwah, x henti2 air mata jatuh. Terlalu lama agaknya saya simpan air mata tu. Akhirnya tumpah juga.

Kdg2 org menangis bkn sbb sedih, tp sbb terlalu gembira. Ni lagi la x penah experience. Tp, semenjak kenal dgn kwn baik sy yg sorg ni akhirnya saya tahu mcm mana rasanya ngs kerana terlalu gembira. Waktu tu kitorg dlm kereta, on the way pergi Pizza Hut. Dah sampai pun sbnrnye. Sekilas sy terpandang muka dia and nampak mata dia. Saya terkejut tapi buat bodo je. Pastu kitorg borak2 sementara tunggu pizza siap. Dia cerita something kat saya. Time tu saya tak dapat tahan perasaan saya and terus ckp something kat dia.

Mula2 biase je la. Tibe2 masuk ayat kedua suara saya dah serak. Air mata pun bergenang. Bila dia tgk saya mcm tu dia pun nangis skali. Sepanjang sy ckp ngn dia sy ngs. Sy x tahu dr mana air mata tu dtg tp hati sy mmg sebak sgt. Mesti korg nak tahu nape sy ngs kan?


Saya menangis sbb sy terlalu gembira dgn perubahan dia. Bila saya pandang mata dia saya nampak ada kelembutan dlm diri dia. Satu kelembutan yg sukar sy nampak dulu. Dulu bila saya pandang mata dia, saya nampak yg dia sgt terluka. Sy nmpk seorg gadis yg baru belasan tahun tapi dah terlalu banyak dilukakan. Setiap kali dia menangis dan mengadu pada saya, saya x menangis dgn dia tp dlm hati sy rasa sakit sgt. Sy sakit tgk dia sedih & sy sakit tgk dia x gembira. Jadi bila saya nampak dlm mata dia yg dulunya keras dah jadi lembut, sy x dpt tahan sebak n menangis kerana terlalu gembira.

Kami berdua menangis bersama hari tu. Bkn kerana kesedihan, tp krn terlalu gembira. Sy bersyukur sbb Tuhan dah makbulkan doa saya. Akhirnya, dia tahu apa rasanya dihargai dan disayangi oleh seseorang. Sy berterima kasih sgt dekat Mr. M sbb sembuhkan luka kwn baik sy ni. Tq Mr. M. Saya akan jadi guest list no.1 dlm wedding korg nanti. Doa saya sentiasa dgn korg. Semoga hbgn baik ni berkekalan smpai ke syurga nanti. Amin. :')

p/s: dekat dia jgk sy ngs 1st time sbb lelaki. Pelik, dgn dia byk benda yg saya rasa 4 d 1st time. :)

1st day of 3rd sem

up and early me~

Wow, it's finally the beginning of our new semester! Coming fresh and early to the faculty, I can't help but to smile at the sight of our freshies in TESL Square. They have this writing on their forehead that says, "sy budak part 1". Hahah!! I guess I must've looked the same when I was a junior too. My 1st day at the fac is pretty cool. I don't have class actually but I came to accompany Seyha. She had to see En. Malik for her music class registration. Anyway, I was like so eager and excited to meet everyone and I only saw a few of my friends. My housemates (of course!), Fana, Teha, Sheila,Fie and Ira. That's all! I was like, "where are my friends yg amek cousnelling ni? Bkn ke class 8.30?". So I waited till 8.30 and still I didn't see anyone at the faculty. Aish~kalo dah nama senior tue..mana dtg class kul 8.15 kan? Tue keje junior je.. Hahha!!

Anyway, I peeked at the faculty board and found out who's teaching me dis sem. All classes have the same lecturer! Yeah! Totally fair! So we got Madame Roslind for Drama, Madame Kay for Educational Psychology, Madame Syahreena for Oral Communication and Mr. Suthagar for Applied Phonetics and Phonology. Cool~ All new lecturers but I've known them already. Madame Roslind especially, I've been longing to be her student since asasi. We had a great slot with her during Bengkel Medsi. At that time she wasn't teaching at d faculty. She was at the main campus teaching Law students BEL. So alhamdulillah, dis sem I have the chance to be her student. I look forward to her class especially since it's DRAMA CLASS!! Huhu hoyeah~!!

Oh well it's gonna be a damn interesting semester I guess. Who cares we have KESATRIA every week? I'm gonna enjoy each day with fun and laughter! Oh yeah, can't wait for Korean class as well! ;) Ah..the good feeling~