Err...

A few days ago I met him again. This is it's d 1st time I'm meeting him after realising my feelings for him. I was eager to meet him coz I wanna know how would I react to him. Would I blush? or feel nervous? I had no idea. Then he came. God, I won't forget how felt throughout the night. There's only 1 word to describe it. KAKU!!

OMG, it's like I wanna be in control so that he wouldn't realise dat I love him but at the same time I'm struggling hard coz he's THE ONE. You know, I don't get this kind of reaction all d time. Yeah, we feel that way with any guy that we love. But for me it's d 1st time so I feel so weird facing it. It's like everything is not in d right place and I wanna do something to fix it but I dunno how. I dunno what to say, how to react or what to do! Seriously I was quiet most of the time. I wanna look at him every second I have but I just couldn't.

Then the goodbye part came. When I saw his car turned the other direction, suddenly I have this unbearable feeling in me dat doesn't allow him to go. I laid myself back in the car, feeling a little sad about it. When he's there right in front of me, I couldn't do a thing but when he went away I was sad. What is this I'm feeling? Why am I not myself when I'm in front of him? I wanna be his friend. Share things with him, laugh over small things and do stuffs together but it looks so unlikely now.

Anyway, I guess it's totally normal to react the way I did. One fine day, maybe I'll have the guts to approach him and be friends. It's not that we're not friends now. I mean a close, hangout friend kind of friendship. Maybe after getting close I won't be that shy with him. Who knows we might even be a couple one day? XP I hope so!

bazla jatuh gaung??

I remember the 1st thing that I had in my mind when I woke up that morning was 'him'. The thought made me let out a heavy breath. I closed my eyes back, not wanting to wake up but I woke up eventually because I didn't wanna be late 4 class. I dunno why that morning everything seems so gloomy and heavy. Reality struck me and I was still trying to accept the truth. That morning, for the first time I didn't take my breakfast. In fact I didn't have the appetite to eat during lunch time as well. I didn't speak a word and I look like so damn miserable. I wanted to enter the classroom and saw my reflection on the mirror. God! I look like there's no soul in me, just my body walking without any soul in it. I was shocked. I didn't realise it was that bad.

Throughout class I managed to concentrate and laughed at a few jokes but the moment I stepped out of the classroom, my face changed again. Seyha was very worried that she forced me to tell her what's wrong. I couldn't speak up but she threatened that she would hit me if I wouldn't say anything so I sat down and started explaining. The moment I started talking, my eyes became watery abd after just a few seconds I was crying like mad. And I was in the middle of TESL Square! Oh God! I wanted to be someplace else but it's better 4 me to just let evrything out at that time. So I blurted out everything. While I was telling Seyha why I was sad she was smiling broadly. (eh budak ni, aku tgh melalak blh plak dia senyum!)

"I...I...I'm no one to him.." The thing is, I just admitted to Seyha that I liked this 'boy' the night b4 and suddenly the next day I became so darn miserable! Then Seyha said, "Oh my God babe, that's not 'like' that's LOVE!!" OMG! I can't believe on that day, I broke my record...I cried because of a guy 4 the first time in my life! I always thought that guys are not worth my tears, but on that day when I cried I really felt like a nobody and it hurts to feel that way with the person you love. God, is this love? I kept asking Seyha dat question, and every time she answered she gave different answers which means 'yes!'.

It's crazy! It really is! For God's sake, I've only met him twice and he didn't do anything to me. No sweet words, no tackling, no changing numbers....nothing at all! How in the world did I fell in love with him? I didn't even realised when did I fell in love with him. I only knew I love him bcoz of how I react to things when it's about him. Seriously, I don't feel like I'm in cloud 9 or anything. But juz d thought of him makes me feel warm. When I think of him I didn't realise what happened aroud me. What I know is, Seyha asked me what was I thinking coz I looked happy. (angau siot!) I dunno what's happened to me. This is d 1st time I'm feeling this way. Even if you ask me now, I wouldn't know whether I love him or not. I've never fallen in love, so I dunno how it feels to fall in love.. But from the symptoms that I have, it's quite obvious that I'm in love.

Quoted from Seyha.."You won't cry if it's just a crush. You won't feel bad that someone else likes him too if you only 'like' him. You don't even know him and yet you're crying like mad becoz of him. B4 dis when you talked about megane-chan or your ex, you never looked the same."

I still can't believe that I've finally fallen in love. But 4 all dats worth, I'm happy that I've fallen in love with 'him'. I started to think a lot and not realise when people's talking to me, I started to freak out when people talk about love and I started to question things about love. Oh God, can't believe this is me speaking. All this while I've been running away from love and when love came knocking on my door, I didn't even realise that I let it in and stay in my heart!

Dusty Diamond

"Hail to the Queen...Dusty Diamond!!"

Wow~I can still remember the feeling that I had when I watched Whoa Willow! It's been quite some time now but every time I recall the evening, I can't help but to feel proud. I know there's weaknesses here and there. I glanced at my watch several times during the show. That shows how dreading it was. However, considering the fact that they were all amateurs, I think they deserve a standing ovation. Well I didn't give one on that day, but I felt like doing so when Dusty Diamond came out.

You can ask 21. I went berserk when I found her after the show. "nak amek gmbar..." I dunno how many times I repeated those words. And I did took a pic with 21's hp. Thanx 21! I still haven't got d pic tho. It's still wit 21. I browsed Cip's Fb today to search for her and I found her! Yeah! Her name's Farah-Nur Farid. I knew earlier that she's an architecture student, like Brooke. *I dunno Broke's real name, Gomen!*

Dusty Diamond and her goons

I guess the reason dat I adore Dusty Diamond very much is becoz her character in the theater gave quite a big impact to the story itself. Well, she's the evil queen that made the marriage rule. Tho, ironically she's not evil. She's just d reason dat ppl no longer know d meaning of love. When her scene came, believe me it was awesome! With the lighting and music, and her goons..it all just made the scene perfect! I know a few of my friends think that her part is insignificant but I totally disagree to that. In fact, I think her scene is the climax of the show becoz after that we knew that Brooke was the reason behind the conflict. Seriously people, I didn't expect that Brooke was the one casting the JooJoo spell! So, of course Dusty Diamond's scene was the coolest.

aww...I should've given her the standing ovation!

Good job Dusty Diamond! ^^

Congrates to the team, the production, the effort, the great work....and the list goes on. I heard that they're gonna do the sequel. I wonder if that's a good decision or not. If they want to, they gotta make sure the sequel is not frustrating. Usually sequels are worse than the 1st. I hope they won't do the same mistake. Anyways, good luck 4 dat! May God bless the children in tasputra perkim. Amin~

Huh!

If you want my attention so much why did u leave me before? If you really need me in your life, why did you say that I'm pathetic that I couldn't stop loving you b4? If you really want me, why did you let me suffer to see you in another girl's arm? You know what? You're stupid! When I still loved you, you held another girl tight in your arms. And now that she's left you 4 another guy, you come running to me.

If you came to me when I still loved you, I might accept you back although you hurt me like hell. Now that I no longer have feelings for you, there's nothing that I can do! Stop calling, stop texting, stop asking 4 my attention! What do you think I'd feel? You only came to me when you're lonely. When you were with her, I'm just nothing to you. Shit! Why do you treat me this way?

It's too late..

I don't mind being a friend. Coz I've put our past behind. But when you asked dat question d other night, it proves how much you haven't changed. You came to me telling how sad you are that she left you and then you asked me to be your girl. How do you think I'd feel? Am I that easy to you? Huh?!

The beginning Of A New Life

2010 came without knocking and I knew from the beginning that there will be so many things awaiting for me. I might cry, get tired and breakdown but in d end I'll stand up and smile. The 1st week definitely brought me out of my comfort zone. I dunno why things turned out to be wrong here and there. I hate d rules, d changes and d karma. It was a very long, dreading and frustrating 1st week. I can't 4get d fact dat I cried bcoz Amal turned out 2 b in my class and MY GROUP for Ethics. Urgh! Luckily it was juz 4 one day.

Then week two came. Alhamdulillah...things began to change and all the frustrations changed 360 degree. It's hard to write when I can't really share what's bugging me during d 1st week. All I can say is, things have started to be better now. I love d fact dat I'm back with my motivator. I dunno what took me so long to decide. Maybe it's becoz I want to face d challenge, and not run from it. In the end, I conclude the same thing again. If it's meant to be, then it'll be. Although it came a little late, at least it came anyway. Thank you Allah!


I really loved d 2nd week. I had a great time with my house mates and classmates. Things are going smoothly. I loved d class project, d story telling at home and d shopping! I've always dreamt of going 2 Tesco and shop with my friends to buy "home stuff" and I did it! With Seha, Najah and Tikah. Then we ate at Geng's corner. They loved d food there. The best part was seeing Seyha work on d cupboard. Haha!! Cool girl~ I guess God has His own ways of arranging fate. At 1st I thought it's gonna be a LONG semester. Now I can picture d fun and adventure. Cool~

Imej baru Stacy

tersangat cumel! hik2