Why?

As part of bakai's production team, I do not have to come to HEP unless Koie tells me to do so. Though, I still come to HEP every Thursday. Usually I do not have much to do. Every week it's the same routine. I'll hear Ranang's loud and celar voice, watch the bakai's dancing and acting and if I'm lucky enough I'd get to see Takang/Kadmus or Andak to practice too. I'd have a chat with Sai and Fi, laugh at their jokes, share stories about our faculty and lastly when Pajid's work is done I'll go back with her. This week, I stayed with Pajid till 11.30p.m. (Luckily the gate to enter Mawar is not locked! Thank God!) Some people might say that I am just wasting my time there, trying to show my commitment even though I do not have anything to do. Well, let me tell you something, "You are definitely wrong!"

Why? It is because every second that I spent at the HEP meant a lot to me. I have always wanted to join the drama team. In fact, I wanted to join the drama team since I was in form one. Unlucky for me, in my previous school, (SMAP Labu) only the boys were allowed to join the drama team. Being a part of a religious school, I've always felt that there were so many things that I loved to do but I could not join just because I'm a girl. How unfair! The two clubs that I really wanted to join was the Nasyid club and Drama club. I seriously loved them both very much. Though, I was not allowed to join the two clubs. I envied the boys. They had more opportunity than us. I always felt jealous to see how good they were in the drama team. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the drama team acted for an English drama. That was also why I was eager to join them. (Really love anything related to English)

For four years, I held my feelings to myself. I never expressed what I felt because I know my voice was not loud enough to make them change the condition that have been done for the past 24 years. Suddenly, when I was in FORM FIVE, Sir Azizi decided to take the GIRLS in the drama team. He was fed-up with the boys so the girls had their chance. Unfortunately, I was in Form 5 so I was not allowed to join the drama team. (Sigh~!) Geram sangat masa tu!! Even the Nasyid team has stepped forward. At last, girls were allowed to join the Nasyid team. Again, I was not allowed because I was a form 5 student. I felt like jumping from the fifth floor at that time. Every time I heard them practising for drama and nasyid my heart hurts. I felt so jealous and irritated. Everyone praised them but I never joined them. I was just too hurt that I did not get my chance.

When I enter UiTM, there were only two clubs that caught my attention. The Drama Team and The Debate Club. Why debate? Because that was the club that I joined inspite the fact that I could not join the Drama Club or the Nasyid Club. I have the basics in debate. I'm pretty sure that I could shine a bit in debate club. But, finally I chose the Drama Club. Don't ask me why. You should know the answer if you read what I wrote up there.

The first day at HEP, "Wow!!". "This is amazing!" This is what I've been wanting to do since I was in form one. At last, I could do it! Without any pressure, without any forces and without feeling the sligthtest regret in myself. Even though I do not know any of the production members, I'm thankful that Pajid could tell me who is who. At least, there was someone to tell me who they were. I do not know why I love acting very much but I do know that I've loved drama even before I was in high school. Watching a great drama produced by A Samad Said made me fell in love with drama. The 1st time I watched drama was when I was in primary school. I watched 'Siti Zubaidah' and 'Bila Bulan Retak". See, I could remember it till today. That happened almost ten years ago. Those two drama were GREAT!

Back to the question why. Why do I feel that I am not wasting time every Thursday? It is simply because, I realised that there are so many things that I learn just by coming every week. Even if I have nothing to do, I could still learn something.

1. I learned that acting is not as easy as it seems,
2. I learned that commitment and attitude is a big responsibility,
3. I learned that body language plays an important role if you can not communicate orally,
4. I learned that being honest with yourself is very rewarding,
5. I learned that I should not be shy to express myself,
6. I learned that being in a team is very fun,
7. I learned that emotion can be expressed in many ways

and many, many other things that I couldn't write any longer because I have a class to attend in another half an hour. Hehe..Let's jump to the conclusion!

Spending my time at HEP every Thursday felt like heaven to me because finally I am able to do something that I like, I am able to spend time with my friends in drama team, I am able to learn a lot of things and also the main reason is, I GET TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY BELOVED FRIEND, PAJID.

I'm proud to have a friend like her and I am willing to spend my precious time with her. Plus, I've always loved drama so it's like shooting a bird with two stones. v(^o^)v Alright, so don't feel sorry if I do not have anything to do at HEP every Thursday. I never felt burden to come and I really enjoyed being part of Bakai's Production Team!